This first blog entry is many, many things. It's both my first entry and yet not my first because I started to write a "first" blog entry many times over and never seemed to be able to finish any of them. Gardening is my hobby, not my job, not an obligation, or a responsibility. Its something that I do for enjoyment in the spare time that I have, though that may be very little nowadays. So as far as the priority list, gardening is often near the bottom, and this website and blog is even farther down than that. This website has been sitting unpublished for almost a year. The graphics have been done, descriptions written, pages organized, domain puchased, but it has never been published because I was waiting for the "right" time.

This idea of the "right" time can mean different things to different people depending on their life stage and situation, but for me that meant once my life was more predictable, once my house was in order, once my parents were no longer suffering with illness, once those I love weren't making decisions that hurt themselves and those around them, once my health was better, once the ache of their deaths didn't weigh so heavy on my soul, once my life felt in order. I'd say to myself that once I have these things settled more, once I don't feel like such a mess and I felt in control of my own life then I can take the time to sit and work on something as seemingly unimportant as a website.​

But i'm starting to realize that "right" day may never come. I'm 32 years old and I can't remember a time in my adult life that was ever settled or predictable. Life as I have known it has felt like there has always been a continual battle raging around me.  I can't say that I resent any of it though because I have come to know that when you're in the midst of personal trial and you feel so very alone I am always reminded that I am never actually alone because the LORD is with me always. He has walked by my side through every ache of my soul. On the days I felt I was breaking, he was there to lift my chin and remind me that even if the whole world falls away and everyone I know had let me down, HE would never leave my side. We don't live in a perfect world. We live in a fallen one. God never promises that you won't have heartache and trouble in your life, in fact, he promises the exact opposite-- that you will have those things, but he'll be there with you as your very best friend to sit with you in your pain and to help dry the tears that no one knows  that you've cried. ​​

So now that we know the "right" day will never come, I suppose today is as good a day as any to make it THE day. The day when I publish this website and blog and let my messy life spill over onto the internet to hopefully reach other messy people out there, so you can know you're not the only one who's life is anything and everything but perfect or simple. This weekend I took my dad to the ER once again for heart trouble. He was admitted for several days to the hospital. I have stacks of laundry next to the washer,  piles of dishes in the sink, and my kitchen sink is leaking yet again and flooded the floor yesterday. There is mail that should have been sent out days ago. My house is in desperate, desperate need of cleaning. The cat needs to go to the vet for his shots. my front hallway has been half painted for months. I haven't made any lesson plans for the kids for the week. My blood sugar is high. There are weeds thriving in just about every nook and cranny of the yard. I also probably have very little hope of finding a clean pair of socks in the morning. No chance of a matching pair, but that's been the norm for years. The point is if you wait for things to be "right" to start something new or pursue your passions, that day may never come. And through it all I still see that there's this awkward beauty in the imperfections, in the quirks, in the oddities, even in the trouble, because its only in the trouble that you can see that grace that you can cling to. 

So in conclusion: 
Welcome to my blog. ​

Abundance in the garden!

​LEt's chat about it. Oh yeah.